Seven Years Without Alcohol

Seven years ago, I stopped drinking. Not because things were falling apart, but because I wanted to stay present for the life I was building.

The decision didn’t happen overnight. It lived in my body and my thoughts for months before I finally made it. I had tried Dry Januarys and “taking breaks,” but I kept circling back to the same realization: for me, this required an identity shift. I was either someone who drank, or someone who didn’t. I couldn’t keep living in the gray.

Alcohol had always been very present in my life. It was part of everyday meals, celebrations, and socializing. It was also deeply tied to heartbreak, poor decisions, and family trauma. There was always a quiet voice inside me saying, this will never be something that adds real positivity to your life.

A few solid hangovers paired with three kids under seven was the push I needed. My kids were early risers, and even two glasses of wine left me depleted the next morning. I knew I wanted more from my life than survival mode. I knew that feeling the feelings was the path forward, and that numbing them was only delaying my healing.

What Helped Me Stay Alcohol-Free

Redefining rest and regulation
I had to learn how to actually care for myself, not escape from myself. That meant questioning the narratives we’re sold, especially the one that says every exhausted mom needs a glass of wine at night. I had to slow down, listen to my body, and redefine what rest and regulation really looked like for me. This went against the grain, but it changed everything.

Building new rituals
In the early days, when the urge to drink showed up, I took warm baths. I realized my nervous system wasn’t craving alcohol, it was craving relief. So I created substitutes that met that need. Tea became a ritual. Fun non-alcoholic drinks helped too. These days, Recess is my go-to, especially the Strawberry Rose. You can use code Megoneill10 for 25% off. Having something special in my hand mattered more than I expected.

Letting it be boring
I had to get comfortable with being a little bored and socially anxious. If I wanted to stay social, I had to practice doing it without alcohol. That was uncomfortable at first. Making small talk, building new connections, sitting with the edge of awkwardness. But over time, the connections became truer, and the forced ones fell away.

Not making sobriety my identity
I needed to see myself as someone who didn’t drink, but I wasn’t in recovery, and I didn’t want sobriety to become my whole personality. There was a lot of identity work here. Letting myself be nuanced. Letting this be a choice, not a label.

Giving myself permission to grieve it
There was grief. For a while, I was left out of social events. Sitting at a dinner table as the only person not drinking can be confronting for others. It makes people reflect on their own relationship with alcohol, and that discomfort can create distance. Over time, that shifted. People adjusted. So did I. I miss it less and less now, and I can see clearly how much this decision has given me.

Motherhood Without Alcohol

Sobriety didn’t make motherhood easier, but it made it more honest. I became more present in hard moments. I learned how to regulate my nervous system instead of checking out. I modeled choice rather than restriction for my kids. And I parented without an escape hatch, which was uncomfortable, but deeply transformative.

How It’s Changed Over Time

In the early years, staying alcohol-free felt fragile. Something I had to actively protect. Now, it feels spacious. Midlife shifted the meaning of sobriety for me. It stopped being about control and became about freedom. I navigate social spaces with more confidence, more boundaries, and more trust in myself.

I’m not sharing this to tell anyone what they should do. I’m offering my experience as a permission slip, because I needed one too. I needed to see other people choosing differently and thriving.

Maybe you’re thinking about Dry January. Maybe you’re just curious. You can use a pause to evaluate what you want your relationship with alcohol to look like. You have permission to choose what’s good for your body and mind.

It doesn’t have to be forever.
Or it can be.

You don’t have to quit forever.
You don’t have to label yourself.

You just have to tell the truth about what you need right now.

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If you want to hear more I have a podcast episode I recorded a few years ago. You can find it here.

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